In the tapestry of life, each thread represents a choice, a moment, or a lesson that shapes us into who we are. Some of these threads are woven by our own hands, while others are the work of circumstances beyond our control. My own life's tapestry is rich with the patterns of challenge and change, notably marked by my mother's battle with multiple sclerosis—a battle that would unwittingly shape my mental landscape for years to come.
My personal journey
As a child, I watched my parents confront the uncertainty of my mom’s illness. Witnessing their struggle and the seismic shifts in our family dynamics instilled in me a profound vulnerability and a relentless fear of the future. In an attempt to armor myself against the pain, I developed what I now understand to be a hyper-vigilant saboteur. This saboteur convinced me that by preparing for the worst, I could somehow shield myself from suffering.
This meant envisioning every possible “worst-case scenario”, living in a constant state of alert to protect myself from the unknown. This mindset followed me into adulthood, manifesting as a shadow that clouded every decision, every dream, and every possibility with the specter of what could go wrong. Instead of envisioning a future filled with hope and adventure, I found myself preparing for a life constrained by the same limitations that my mother faced.
This way of thinking, deeply ingrained and seemingly protective, was, in fact, a prison of my own making. My hyper-vigilant saboteur had not only limited my physical activities, out of fear of future disabilities, but had also shackled my ability to dream and to live fully. The high functioning anxiety I experienced takes its roots in this saboteur and led me to burnout and depression.
It took years of introspection and the courage to face my fears to realize that this saboteur, and others, though born of a desire to protect, were now the very thing holding me back.
The discovery of Positive Intelligence
My journey of transformation began long before I discovered the Positive Intelligence program created by Shirzad Chamine. This encounter with mental fitness and Positive Intelligence, however, marked a significant milestone in this journey. What had taken me years to uncover through personal reflection and through my work with a psychologist was systematically laid out in this 8-week program. It was as if a map had been unfolded before me, showing me the paths I had taken and those I had yet to explore.
Positive Intelligence didn't just offer insights into the nature of saboteurs—the mental patterns developed in childhood to protect us but which become constraints in adulthood—it provided a clear, structured path to rewire the brain. This program illuminated the journey from the grip of the saboteur to the empowerment of the Sage, guiding me from a place of fear and limitation to one of resilience, compassion, and purpose.
A new chapter begins
The shift from being unknowingly guided by my saboteurs to consciously empowering my Sage was profound. It was as though I had been equipped with a new lens through which to view my life, one that favored empowerment over fear and possibility over limitation. This transformation, which led me to a new life in the Ozarks and a fulfilling career in coaching at 47, would have been inconceivable had I remained under the control of my Hyper Vigilant saboteur. Embracing a life deeply aligned with my true self, purposeful, and at peace, highlights the power of unlearning and relearning.
The work continues
However, the journey is ongoing. While I've "tamed" my hyper-vigilant tendencies, shifting my focus towards optimism and possibilities, the challenge of my Avoider saboteur persists. My strategy of avoidance, especially concerning planning for the future, is a work in progress. This acknowledgment doesn't confuse but enriches the narrative, underscoring that personal development is a continuous journey, not a destination.
An invitation to growth
I share my story not just as a testament to my own transformation but as an invitation to you. Explore your own saboteurs, understand their origins, and recognize the power you have to change your narrative. Positive Intelligence offers the keys to this transformation, providing the foundation to unlearn the old and embrace a new path of resilience, compassion, and purpose.
Join the journey
If my journey resonates with you, if you feel the stirrings of a desire to explore the landscapes of your own mind and to free yourself from the saboteurs that hold you back, I am here to guide you. Together, we can embark on this journey of unlearning and relearning. Let’s step into the light and discover the vibrant life that awaits you when you live aligned with your true self.
Let's connect, explore the Positive Intelligence program together, and harness the power of your Sage. The road to your best life is paved with the stones of your past experiences, reimagined and reconstructed.
I'm here to share this road with you, every step of the way.
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